Let's Talk - Not Feeling 'Good Enough'
September 12, 2017
We have all had those moments of not feeling good enough. It could be body image, school grades, academics, friendships, relationships, career – all of these may lead to us feeling inadequate at some point and I totally get it, been there and done that. We are our harshest critic and challenge our minds that we are not where we are supposed to be.
So let’s talk about where that feeling of not being ‘good enough’ comes from – fear. Any emotion will either come from fear or from love and not feeling good enough most certainly comes from a fear – fear of failing, fear of disappointing or upsetting, fear of not achieving etc… It’s that fear that stops us in our tracks and makes us question whether we are good enough or not. Comparisons also play a major role. We never know what someone else is going through, yet we compare our lives against what we see superficially of someone else’s. When we compare in a judgemental way, we give ourselves the permission to pick our own lives apart and focus on what we haven’t achieved rather than what we have.
Comparisons are unhealthy, they don’t serve us at all and they prevent us from being our authentic selves. By judging yourself against others you are taking away your right to just be YOU. Being authentic, original and unique means that we will never be like another, we will never live life like another and we will not have the same life lessons or experiences. Just because someone may seem like they have it all figured out, doesn’t mean that they actually do – just as your life might seem totally perfect from an outsiders point of view. It’s exciting that we can all bring something different to the table, we all have value that we can share with the world without having to put pressure on ourselves to be something we’re not.
Fear of not feeling good enough
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Judging ourselves against others and their achievements
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Comparisons
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Pressure
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Growing organically and being authentic is inhibited
Life isn’t always what it seems and there is no set direction for any one of us, you can be whoever you want to be at any given point. If life isn’t going the way you planned then stop comparing and wishing it was something else – create the path that you want for you. Stop believing that you’re not good enough or fearing rejection and failure. Show respect for yourself by valuing your soul and who you are.
We are who we are because that’s what makes us unique.
We all have incredible value and we are all good enough.
How much more would you have achieved by now if you just had the confidence to believe you were good enough?
How much more would you have done if you weren’t afraid of not achieving or ‘failing’?
A hell of a lot more I’m guessing. We all have the capabilities to make our own life happen for us, but the more pressure you put on yourself the less self-belief you will have. Not feeling good enough is that lack in self-belief. There’s a massive difference between being confident and having self-belief. A lot of people think that successful people are confident because they can put themselves out there and make life happen, but honestly, it’s purely self-belief and it has nothing to do with outward confidence – it has everything to do with your internal confidence.
If you want that strong relationship, then you have to have that belief that you are worth it.
If you want that promotion, then you must have that self-belief to show drive and determination.
If you want to launch a business, you should have self-belief that your value will benefit others.
When you have self-belief, you won’t have that fear of failing because you already have faith in yourself. You know you can make it happen. Believing in yourself also means that you’re living life authentically because you know and respect your value – the more you do that, the more people are attracted to you. In the world we live in today, authentic people are valued first and foremost.
Fear of failing or of disappointing will stop you from achieving what your heart desires. If we fear, it’s because we are heading into a territory that we are totally passionate about. Think about it – would you fear something you didn’t really care about? Of course you wouldn’t. These feelings occur because it means something to you and passion is fuel to fire up your life and to kick start your engine to take you in a direction that is meaningful for you. Stop fearing that you aren’t good enough and use your self-belief to make it happen for you.
If you’re not feeling ‘good enough’ to do something, to be who you want to be or to finish what needs to be done, then ask yourself why.
Why are you putting up a barrier? What are you comparing your life to?
Your life experiences are what make you who you are. They are what help you to grow organically and truthfully so live your life through your own eyes and your own heart. Don’t get in the way of being the amazing human that you want to be. You have always been good enough and you always will be – in fact you’re better than ‘good’, you’re the best of the best, because you are YOU! No one else can be you, so how on earth can you not be good enough. You are in fact the best person at being you. Have faith in yourself to achieve.
Don’t judge or compare your life to another’s. It’s not your life, it’s not where you’re meant to be, so what’s the point? To live an authentic life you have to live your own and no one else’s and to live your own, you have to have self-belief that you are good enough – because trust me, you are and your authentic life has value that’s worth sharing with everyone.
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