Her Unique Glow

A regret is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as:

“A feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.”

Not a good feeling right? Well like all negative emotions, the feeling of regret comes and goes if we allow it to; we can release it from our minds when it enters and moves on. The time it becomes dangerous to our spirit and how we feel within ourselves, is when we allow it to linger and fester within us.

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Hard Truth:

“You can’t change what has happened in the past.”

You can’t right the wrong.

You don’t get chances to do things again.

All you have is your present, as you don’t even know what the future holds.

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Regret means that you are living in the past, thinking things over, wishing for those do-overs or wishing something never happened or never materialised. And if you let these feelings stay too long, you’ll see a negative pattern emerge and sadness just engulfs you. We’ve all been there at some stage. We know exactly how that feels. Even if you’re having the most perfect day, as soon as any thought of regret enters your mind, sadness will too.

They are in almost like the best friends of the world of feelings – Regret and sadness.

If you’re living in the past through regret, you’re actually tapping into a dark zone within yourself and it doesn’t do anything for your spirit. You can’t change what’s gone on, therefore you’re left powerless and if those thoughts persist, sometimes you might even find yourself feeling powerless over your present and your future, and that’s just downright dangerous!

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So how can we learn from regrets and how can we cope with them?

There’s no way of avoiding feeling regret because emotions and feelings come to us for a reason, and it’s our choice of how we deal with them that impacts on how we ultimately end up feeling. The important thing to remember is:

• Don’t let it stay!
• Don’t let it make a home in your head.
• Acknowledge it, and make that choice to move on.

You can’t go back in time but what you can do is change the way you are feeling your life right now. So if you do regret something then ask yourself what you want to do differently leading forward. By doing so you gain some of that control back. You gain your power back by showing yourself that you have made a plan to move forward.

So ask yourself these questions next time you feel regret:

• What did you learn from that regret?
• Have you learnt from that lesson?
• Is it something that you can now apply?
• If so…then you have regained that power back again!

You are in control of your present so make the most of it and don’t let the regret stick around!

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I’m a firm believer of:

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Now I know not everyone shares this belief and that’s perfectly fine. I just want to share my way of coping with regret with you – The belief of everything happens for a reason helps me because then my thoughts change to:

“all the regrets I’m feeling are actually stepping stones to get me where I am now in life and who I am as a person.”

What you feel is regret might actually have been an education. So really when you regret something, tell yourself this:

“I don’t regret what has happened, I have just learned from a life lesson and am making the choice to move on.”

Negative emotions are fleeting. Make regret fleeting too. Don’t live in the past thinking about what might have been, don’t allow that added anxiety to creep into your brain. Living in the past will get you nowhere, it’s sort of like walking down the upwards escalator – you’re putting in all of your effort and a lot of hard work, but really heading absolutely no where! (sheesh, the thought of it is exhausting). All you have is your present, so put your effort into that and build on your future and where you want to be.

Release regret and

embrace your education of life.

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