Her Unique Glow

Everything in life is bio-individual.

It’s probably one of my ‘most used’ words in my vocabulary and I’m pretty sure I say it at least once every single day.

What I mean when I say bio-individual is that everyone is totally unique from their personality, to their physical appearance, to their chemical structure of their DNA and cells. No two people are exactly alike – so how can we expect their experiences of this earth to be similar?

One of my favourite sayings is:

“One person’s food is another person’s poison.”

Happiness is a goal that so many of us aim for. I’ve talked about happiness before and how it’s not necessarily a goal to aspire for, but a journey to embrace and enjoy. Even changing your mind-set and your thinking on this topic however, is not enough. You have to know what happiness means to you!

When embarking on a journey towards increased happiness, it’s really easy to look at what others have done for inspiration. What was their next step? How did they move on so easily? Where did they go from here? The problem with copying someone else (in any area of life, let alone a feeling such as happiness) is that we are trying to copy their blueprint for life rather than figuring out our own – their blueprint might mean something completely different to them than it does to us so what’s the point? We will end up getting lost along the way, dealing with a whole heap of confusion and forgetting why we even started the journey in the first place.

Feelings and emotions are so powerful. Happiness is so powerful.

Feelings are powerful because they develop from the core of each individual – and guess what? That makes them bio-individual. Happiness will mean something completely different to everyone so there is no one set route to feeling happy. What makes me happy might not make you happy. Any feeling comes from within and it stems from who you are as a person. If you want to be happier, then the first thing you have to do is define what happiness means to you.

Finish this sentence:

Happiness means…

My sentence would look something like this:

Happiness means experiencing unconditional love.

When I asked my mum, she gave me a few sentences:

• Happiness means being at one with yourself.
• Happiness means looking forward with contentment.
• Happiness means being a mum.

So, what does happiness mean to you?

Get clear on what lights you up and sparks that feeling within you. Is it your family? Is it work? Does happiness mean health and longevity or does it mean living in the moment and being spontaneous? The only way you will ever be content on your journey of happiness is if you start that journey off knowing exactly what the word happiness looks like to you. This is something deeply personal but unless you acknowledge what it is, you won’t be fulfilled. It isn’t fulfilling seeking another individual’s version of happiness because it might mean something totally different to you.

Once you know what happiness means to you and you’re comfortable with the sentence (or two) that you have created for yourself, answer this next question:

What makes you happy?

Write down a list of everything you think of that makes you happy – make the list as long as you possibly can and write down any small (or large) thing that pops into your mind. Nothing on this list is too silly or trivial.

Once you have your list, go down every single item on there and check if it aligns with your definition of happiness. If it doesn’t then you know that you’re on the wrong track and maybe you veered off onto someone else’s at some point. If it does, then you know that doing this thing or experiencing it will help you feel happier. When we search for happiness or look to experience more of it, we do look for other’s for inspiration. The only hiccup with that method though, is that not everything other people do will spark the same reaction, emotion or feeling within us. We do it anyway because we think it’s what we are MEANT to do rather than looking within us and finding out what works for us as individuals. Sometimes it’s so hard to know where to start – especially if you’re in a low place or have never looked at happiness as something that's bio-individual.

Once you have looked through your list and checked what aligns with your definition of happiness, you’ll get a clearer picture of what needs improving on and what needs to go on the shelf for the time being.

Look at those items that don’t align with your definition and ask yourself why they are on there. Get clear on your intentions. Not only will that help you move forward in manifesting the life you dream of, but it will also strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.

Then it’s time for one last question to ask yourself.

What can you do more of that will align with your definition of happiness?

If you want to experience more of anything in life, it means wanting something that is slightly or greatly different to what you are experiencing now and that means doing something differently. Now, that might mean improving on something you already do that makes you happy OR it might mean trying something completely different. So write down a list of things that you can do that will make you happy and make sure that this new list aligns completely with what happiness means to you.

The pursuit of happiness is what makes you, you. So start digging deep and peeling back the layers so that you are clear on what makes you unique and beautiful just the way you are.

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