What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do
May 23, 2018Click below to listen to the podcast:
Have you ever had those moments in life where you just don’t know what to do or where to turn?
Have you ever needed your inner wisdom to guide you but it was taking a mini break?
I know I have. In fact, it happens to so many of us at so many points as we go through life and trust me when I say – you’re not alone.
I spent the majority of my life confused.
I couldn’t decide what to make for dinner, there was just TOO much choice.
I couldn’t decide where to go on holiday, there were just SO many countries!
I couldn’t decide which career was right for me.
I felt so lost most of the time that I actually stopped trusting my judgement all together and continuously would look to friends and family for the answers.
We are all born with our inner wisdom
It lives deep within our core and knows when something is good for us and when it isn’t. It knows when to say a whole hearted ‘YES’ and it knows when to say ‘NO’. It can give us the courage to take that leap forward or tell us to take a step back. Most people call this our
‘GUT INSTINCT’
Like anything in our bodies though, our gut instinct is a muscle that needs to be exercised otherwise it will lose it's strength. The more we ignore our inner wisdom, the more confusion we collect and the less impact our inner wisdom will have on our decision making – it’s just not strong enough to compete with any self-doubt we might have.
Our gut instinct is our first reaction. It’s what immediately comes to mind and the conclusion our decision making is naturally drawn to. Sometimes that gut instinct leads us to the easiest of answers and sometimes it’s screaming at us to choose the most difficult path. Whatever path it tells us to take, it’s always there.
But what happens when your inner wisdom isn’t strong enough to shout through?
What happens when that ‘inner wisdom’ muscle hasn’t been exercised in a long time?
What happens when you have a big decision to make but are confused which path to choose?
If you have ‘lost’ your inner wisdom or are confused why your gut feeling is telling you to go in opposite direction to what feels right then it might be hard to trust what your inner conscience is trying to tell you. Here are 5 ways to help you make those decisions when you just don’t know what to do – all 5 are also great ways to help you exercise your inner wisdom too!
Switch up your routine
It’s so easy to get caught up in a routine without even thinking about it. Take having a shower for example: I know that I always wash my hair first and then while my conditioner is in, I will wash my body. We create habits around everything in our lives and that includes all those everyday tasks. When I walk my dogs, Kai is on the left and Connie is always on my right. When I drive to my Pilates class I will always take the A6 instead of the country lanes. What we get used to becomes comfortable for us and therefore it becomes a habit. This is also when we get stuck. There’s the expressions: ‘Stuck in a rut’ and ‘stuck in a routine’.
When we have lost our inner wisdom, it’s because we were no longer using it every day.
After all, there’s no need to ask our inner wisdom what to do if we have already created habits around everything in our lives.
When you’re struggling to make a decision or don’t know which is the right path to choose, you are essentially stuck. If you’re stuck making a choice then instead of focusing on the question at hand, start focusing on what you can change – your daily routine!
Pull yourself out of that rut and start to switch things up a bit. Start awakening your inner wisdom by doing things differently and challenging it to come up with clever answers. It doesn’t have to be drastic changes to your daily routine. It can even be sitting down to brush your teeth rather than standing up!
Spend some time refreshing your habits and giving them an overhaul. Unstick yourself from your daily routine so that you can unstick yourself from your tricky decision making.
Get creative
When we are creative we are our most inspired self.
Creativity allows our brains to explore new pathways and gives us the freedom to explore on a more intuitive level.
If you’re struggling to decide what to do then giving your creative self the permission to go wild might be just what you need! Relax your mind from the stresses of life and use this time of creativity as an escapism to give your mind time to wonder and reflect. When your mind is relaxed it’s much easier to come up with new and exciting ideas. Plus, being in a creative space will allow for your decision making to also come from a creative space!
Try something new
Get outside of your comfort zone!
Your inner wisdom will quieten down the more familiar you are with a situation – it doesn’t need to be active if you already know what you’re doing and how to do it. Trying something new and pushing yourself outside of that comfort zone will challenge you and your gut instincts and also open doors to new possibilities.
When you don’t know what to do sometimes the best thing to do is something totally random and unexpected – you never know what could come from it. If you want something different in your life then you have to go about life in a different way. That might mean trying new things, experimenting with a hobby, joining in a new fitness class, cooking with a new ingredient or it might even mean tackling the situation you’re in from another angle.
Whatever your ‘new’ may be, if it’s new then it will be pushing you outside of your comfort zone. If it’s pushing you outside of your comfort zone it will be exercising your inner wisdom.
Remind yourself of your values
When we have lost the ability to trust in our inner wisdom or gut feelings, it creates a mass of confusion.
- What do I do?
- How do I do it?
- What’s the best way to go about it?
- What’s next?
Being confused by what to do can feel completely overwhelming and even scary. After all, if we’ve lost the ability to trust ourselves then who can we trust to share the right answer with us?
When this happens the best thing to do is start healing the relationship you have with yourself. Remind yourself of who you are, what you stand for and what you believe in. Start working on that inner confidence again and strengthen your self-belief. If you can’t trust your gut, then start trusting in yourself again. The best way to do that is to remind yourself of your values in life.
Get a pen and paper and start writing down a list of everything you value in life, everything you cherish, everything that gives you purpose and meaning. It might only be a short list to start off with but keep adding to this list every time you think of something new. Remind yourself of who you are and start putting trust back into yourself so that you can allow yourself to tap into your inner wisdom.
Writing down your values can also help with your decision making as you can see how they align with your core values and how they can serve you best.
Pull yourself out of the situation
When you don’t know what to do, most of the time it’s because you’re too involved in the situation. The closer you are to the obstacle, the fuzzier that decision making process can become. It’s easier to see the bigger picture when you take a step back and breathe it all in. Not only that, but allowing yourself some breathing space will help to relax your mind, calm you down and give you some much needed thinking time to really analyse what’s going on.
Hard choices are exactly that – hard. So allow yourself time to make them. Don’t rush into them and don’t feel pressurised to do so. If your inner wisdom isn’t screaming an answer out to you then more likely than not, there probably isn’t an answer yet. By taking yourself out of the situation you’re giving that inner wisdom space to breathe, to think and to work out what is the best move for you. Don’t push yourself into making a decision just because you feel you have to. It’s ok to NOT know what to do. So get your mind, body and heart out of the situation you are in until you feel ready to make that choice.
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